Games to Play Over the Phone in a Long-Distance Relationship

There is a particular moment in a long-distance relationship that nobody warns you about. It is around nine in the evening, you have both described your day, you have both said the thing about your colleague, and there is a pause. Neither of you wants to hang up. Neither of you can think of anything to say.

That pause is not a sign that anything is wrong. It is a sign that you have run out of news, which is a completely different thing from running out of interest. Couples who live together do not solve this by talking more - they solve it by being in the same room doing something. A game is the closest thing you get to that over a phone.

Why a game works when conversation stalls

Conversation over a call has a problem that conversation in a kitchen does not: there is nothing in the room to react to. No dog walking past, no thing on the counter, no shared view out the window. Every subject has to be invented from nothing by one of you.

A game fixes this by putting something in front of both of you. You are no longer generating topics - you are reacting to the same thing at the same time. That is why people who play something on a call end up talking more, not less.

Games you both open on your phones

1. A word game with a shared board

TalkSibi runs in a browser on both your phones - you open a room, send the four-letter code, and you are looking at the same board while you stay on the call. There are word games, guessing games and a team game where one of you gives a one-word clue and the other has to work out which words you meant. It is free and you do not have to sign up to try it. If one of you is learning the other's language, the games are built for exactly that.

2. Guess the song

Hum eight seconds. No words, no rhythm help. The number of arguments this causes is the point.

3. Emoji story

Describe a film, a memory, or what happened at work using only emoji in the chat. The other person guesses. It is more revealing than it sounds - people pick very different emoji for the same feeling.

Games that need nothing at all

4. Twenty questions

One of you thinks of something. Twenty yes-or-no questions. Still undefeated after a hundred years, and it fills a whole train journey.

5. Two truths and a lie

The version for people who already know each other: the truths have to be things the other person has never heard. That constraint is what makes it good after three years together instead of three weeks.

6. Would you rather, but specific

Not "would you rather fly or be invisible". Would you rather live in the flat we saw in March with the bad kitchen, or the one further out with the garden. The specific ones are actually about your life.

7. The alphabet game

Pick a category - things in a supermarket, places you want to go, bands. Alternate down the alphabet. First to stall loses. Takes four minutes and reliably wakes up a tired call.

8. One sentence each

Build a story, one sentence at a time, no planning. It goes somewhere stupid within six lines and that is the entire appeal.

9. Rate my day out of ten, and justify it

A small ritual rather than a game. The justification is where the real conversation hides - "a six" tells you nothing, "a six because of the thing at eleven" tells you everything.

10. Describe your day as a film trailer

In the voice. With the pauses. It is very hard to stay in a bad mood while doing this.

Things to do together that are not talking

11. Watch the same thing, muted mic

Count down, press play together, and leave the call open. You talk when there is something to say and you do not when there is not. This is the closest a phone gets to sitting on a sofa.

12. Cook the same meal

Same recipe, two kitchens, phone propped up. You end up talking about nothing in particular for an hour, which is the thing you actually miss.

13. Read the same chapter

Ten pages each, then talk about it. It gives you a shared thing to have an opinion about that is not your relationship.

14. Do your own work on an open call

Sometimes called body doubling. Nobody talks. You just leave the line open while you each get on with something. Couples who live together spend most of their evenings in silence in the same room, and this is how you get that back.

15. Fall asleep on the call

Not a game. But it is what people who are far apart actually do, and there is no reason to feel silly about it.

Common questions

What can you play over the phone with just two people?

Twenty questions, two truths and a lie, the alphabet game and guess-the-song all work with exactly two people and need nothing but the call. If you want something with a board, a browser game you both open on your phones works for two as easily as for ten.

What do you do on a call when you have nothing to say?

Stop trying to find a subject and find an activity instead. A game, a film, the same recipe. The talking comes back on its own once there is something in front of both of you.

Is it normal to run out of things to talk about?

Yes, and it happens sooner the more often you call. Talking every day means you are dividing the same amount of life over far more conversations. It is arithmetic, not a warning sign.

Start with one

You do not need fifteen. Pick one for tonight, and have a second in reserve for the night the first one falls flat. TalkSibi is free and opens in a browser on both your phones, if you want something you can start in the next thirty seconds.